The grey sketchbook

huh?

if i never was
how would i have felt about it
would i have been grateful i’m not
or would i have longed to be

i am the darkest of your darkest thoughts
i am your most endless nightmare
i am the bitterness in your coffee
i am the pain you cannot spare
i am cruelty that you fight
then call it out

it never came back

i  still got mountains in my eyes

i still can taste the sea

i took my heart to the sunrise

it never came back with me

i still got memories in my eyes

they wouldn’t let me be

i took my heart there, was it wise

it never came back with me

i still got truth in my lies

i’m captive and i’m free

i left my heart there, there it lies

it never came back with me

mind my mind

my mind wanders about… 

sometimes it stays out too long that i think it will never come back.. 

sometimes i wish it never comes back.

i.. i think i..

i want to go inside a garden, so full of trees that you can barely find a place to put your foot. or a forest, where trees have leaves as big as beds. and stay there forever.

but i would like the forest to turn into a mountain sometimes.. and i would like the sea to visit every now and then.

The plant

I was nothing and it didn’t matter
But now because of you..
I will be something
So will you care?

———-Time———-

I’m here now.. 
Do you promise to take care of me?

———-Time———-

You know I need you
More than you need me

———-Time———-

You are late.. Again..
It’s not fair because I can’t be

———-Time———-

You promised..

———-Time———-

I’d refuse that water you denied me for so long 
if I could..

———-Time———-

It’s not of thirst I’m dying..
It’s of unhappiness

———-Time———-

I know you’re sorry..
Is it enough?
It could have been too late

———-Time———-

Yes, i will give you another chance
Because.. You may not know..
But I promised too.